Twenty years ago, on this day......life changed!! I said goodbye to one of my best friends ever....my dear dad!! In all of the things that have happened to me in life, no one person, or any one event has had the impact on me, like this one simple man. He probably changed the course of my life serval times over...I hear his humor fill the room frequently because he taught me the value of humor and boy...he taught me how to laugh and see humor in all sorts of things......If I close my eyes I can see his smile, and it makes me smile.....20 years later!!! He taught me all the usual things about work and money......I would have been prone to panic about so many things in life........ if he had not talked me down on numerous occasions......he was calm and logical and just kept nailing it into my soul and one day, I just got it......things would all work out.
He taught me about simple things like a love of animals and simple country life and to this day I can still find the beauty in the land. He was a WW2 Veteran and without question we knew that we stood at attention when the flag rolled by us......we knew the price of freedom wasn't free. By far, the one character trait that I admired from this man the most was his love that he had for myself and my family. The way he believed in each one of us.......when I'm sure there were times when we had not earned that deep love.
As we all have many stories of our dads...I could fill a book but I will leave one behind... Long before I was married, my dad and I went shopping for a snow blower. We bought the best one out there and it was mine. A snow blower in Indiana isn't needed a bunch but when you need it - you need it! Years went by and I married......it was not a good marriage....but I never mentioned much to my dad....I knew he knew certain things that happen but I didn't want to disappoint or worry him him.
Ten years after my dad passed the marriage ended.....and it wasn't pretty....my ex-husband wanted everything and somehow along the divorce the snowblower came up "missing"!!
Four or five years later, I was adjusting to my new life and doing pretty good... One day while at my mom's, she mentioned that dad had left some things for me in a stall in his barn and she had forgotten to tell me. After making my way to the stall, there were two things ....my saddle ....which I had spent so much time in and had always had a love for the horses!!! I smiled....it was sweet memories!! And there in the corner was a snow blower. That snow blower grabbed ahold of my heart........it told me he knew what was going to happen......he knew!!! ........and he knew,.......but more than just knew , he expected nothing less than for me to pick up the pieces and keep on keeping on!!!! And to let me know....he was still right there......still believing in me. About a month before he died he was doing book work for me ...without looking up he said.....you raise them boys, little Jacks, and then you remember....... I'll be waiting for you by the river....don't you forget me....I'll be waiting there for you!!!
So on this 20 year anniversary.......thank you ....thank you...thank you......
Thanks for believing in me....always!!!!
...See you at the river, my friend!!!! I love you forever!!
]]>I loved my work, but now every time I shampooed a head of hair I ran to the bathroom. As the months progressed along, (of course lots of advice in a salon) everyone would tell me "You should be over that sickness by now..." but I wasn't. The worst was my mental state of mind... For one thing, I was tired and worn, nothing tasted good and EVERYTHING I ate was released from my body (in one form or another)!!! I tromped around really with the worst mental state of mind.
I decided to decorate the nursery in bunnies and sheep. It was really cute... and of course with my love of sewing, it was fun!
Throughout the pregnancy I was aware of others that were pregnant. I remember hearing them say it was the best they had ever felt....!?!?!!!??!!
I sure wasn't there!
I would hear people say they felt this strong connection to the baby... in all honesty, I felt no connection at all... I just felt sick... physically AND mentally!
I remember as the time grew closer for the birth I became scared. What if I couldn't do this? What if I was a terrible mom? After all, I felt nothing when all these other women were connected... and had no glow! All I had was sunken, dark-circle eyes and a pale skin tone.
The day arrived that labor kicked in... LONG labor... LONG, BACK labor... He was turned the wrong way... of course... at that point there was no choice but to just get it out... and at 4:00AM after a long night... out came 6lb Baby Taylor!!!!
He was the tiniest thing I had ever seen!
From the first moment, as I was still being stitched up... I couldn't believe he was real, and that he was mine for a short time.
Everyone was tired, the doctor left... my husband went home to rest... and then there remained the baby and Momma!
I watched him and watched him... I knew without a doubt, my life would never be the same again. Of all the things that had ever happened to me in life... nothing would ever compare to this new journey I was about to begin!!!
I knew the meaning of my life had been forever changed in a minute. I now knew what connection on another level was... and so it began... there was so many moments that wrapped themselves around my heart. They changed who I was... they changed what was important and what wasn't. No holiday was ever the same... I loved being my boys mom!
As the years progressed, they went by so fast... the most cherished moments in life have been with those boys... It's hard to really explain a mother's love.
She would drive, fly, walk, climb anywhere she knew her peeps were.
She would spend an entire weekend on a school bus attending a school event when she really doesn't even like other people's kids!!! She would sew all night to deliver the perfect Halloween suit with a tail. Her heart wells up so much that she thinks it might explode when she sees her child asleep with the family dog. There is peace in her heart when the last present is under the tree. She will scrape and save to make sure her little one has what he needs without them ever knowing the war that raged to get there. She has a sixth-sense about danger and she will fight many-a-battle on her knees in prayer... because she knows that only God Himself could create this beautiful creature.
This mom species will roar like a lion when needed and she will whisper like the wind to help repair a broken heart. She will cook and clean and cook and clean, but if they need her, she will desert it all to get to them. There are days when she needs tough love like steel... inside her heart is breaking but that child needs her to be strong as a steel post... unwavering...and this time it's to stand up for them when they can't see the way.
Motherhood isn't for the faint of heart... and it's filled with mistakes because our children learn best when we mess up... that's right!!! They need real human Mommas, not perfect ones... but ones where a mother's love shines so brightly-- that even through the mess-ups-- a child cannot miss it!!! Love really does conquer all. Someday... you reach the other side of motherhood and as you turn around and look back you realize it was the best trip... EVER!!! You don't look the same as you did when you started the journey... you definitely don't think the same... and you aren't the same... it's all real and it's all so much better....
"Real isn't how you are made" said the skin horse, "It's a thing that happens to you..."
"That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily or have sharp edges, or have to be carefully kept..."
"When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become real"
"Generally, by the time you are real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are real, you can't be ugly... except to people who don't understand"
-The Velveteen Rabbit
.....Cupid’s.....hearts.....glitter......Cupid’s ....lace .....pearls.....pearls and banners of love ! Valentine decor can be a family vintage postcard to a barn wood heart. It can come from an expensive, exclusive boutique or the dollar store The one thing a Valentine does ? It makes your heart smile.
As a young girl I absolutely loved Valentine week at school. I love the crafts and prepping for the big Valentines party filled with pretty cookies and candy . I couldn’t wait to pass out my carefully picked Valentines. The only dragging thing that I can remember is there was always one kid in the class that didn’t get very many Valentines. As they shuffled thru their valentines knowing they had not gotten very many. I remember wanting to just gather up all the candy and give it to them.
as a young single women Valentine’s Day wAs really good if you had a wonderful boyfriend that lavished you with a dozen roses....candy and an unforgettable piece of jewelry....and of course accompanied with a beautiful card letting you know that you truly are the best !!!...... but in all seriousness that rarely happens!!!!! I even had a boyfriend once that brought a dozen roses to me but divided them and gave me six. He was all dressed up.....took the remaining six roses with him, told me we would go out next week. So he had split the roses between me and another girlfriend. Needless to say ....not a good Valentine Laughable today but ......sometimes it takes years to see the humor !!!!
As I became a married women with kids Valentine’s Day were always fun. I loved Valentines Day with the kids. There were crafts and parties and cookies, candy and every year I hosted a big fondu party. I always tried to invite some folks that didn’t have anywhere to go for Valentines. We always had a fun time. Most times it was a really different blend of people All ages ,all walks of life ,all different personalities.....always cups of chocolate hearts !!!!!! As I look back on those fun days and the many Valentines....the first thing ....they all flipped by so fast !!.......I hope my kids remember them with fond memories......I hope they always ate plenty of cookies and candy but most of all I hope they remember that Valentines was fun ....always had a fun craft ......and most of alll ....there was always a plate at the table for anyone that wouldn’t have had a place to go on Valentine’s Day ........there was a place for another smile!!!! This year has been a tough one. No one would deny that. Lots of hate and strife ....so for your Valentine Day ......give a little piece of your heart away Happy Valentines Weekend
Now, let me start off with the fact that I've been up since 0430 this morning. I haven't been home since Friday, it's now Tuesday... I've just got to tell you what I've been up to. I'll start off with a story that's not typical coming from me... At least I don't think it will be, or is, or has been... or whatever.
Back in the day, a little over twenty years ago, I had made a lifelong friend. We wouldn't stay in contact always, but whenever we were, we would pick right back up as if nothing changed and we were on fire. Just true friends that have stood the test of time thus far. This particular friend's story is a whole different topic that I'm not sure will ever make it to the public eye any time soon, but needless to say- this friend plays a loose roll in the story I'm about to tell you.
Last October 2020, in the midst of this stupid pandemic, my friend was telling me about travel opportunities. I don't know how we ended up planning it together, but we did. Destination: Biloxi, Mississippi. I'd never heard of the place, but it was a Gulf Coast town between Mobile, AL and New Orleans, LA. It was the perfect spot to get some nice sunshine at the tail end of one heck of an Indian-Summer here in northern Indiana.
This friend of mine and I are both single parents, both work our rear ends off, and were both in desperate need of a 'break from life' kind of a getaway. This was the perfect chance. A flight and three nights down in Biloxi for a total of $50.00, I couldn't beat that. I'd done a fair bit of traveling since my ex-husband and I had split up in March of the same year. I had been out to Texas twice, two different locations, with two different friends and loved ones to visit. I still had the traveling 'itch' so to speak. I was trying to really distract myself from the pain and confusion I was still in shock of over my divorce that I hadn't wanted at the time. I was taking all the Me Time I could get. Because I had four kids I was now raising by myself when I had them. There was no help coming when the clock struck 6:00pm when their father was to be off work. No one was coming to relieve me even for a few minutes after a long day of work and dealing with the kids to boot. No one was coming home to ask me how my day was, or to ask the kids how theirs went. It was just us. And I'd like to say I'm a pretty decent mom, but going through a divorce I hadn't wanted and being pressed to move to a new place and trying to figure my own emotions and thoughts out on top of trying to keep things as normal as possible for my terribly confused yet resilient kids, things were a little rough... Here's where I admit I had a little bit of scary-crazy going on at times. But I was usually always able to keep it in check and just dial it down to regular mom-crazy.
Back to October and Biloxi, my friend and I went. We had an awesome time. We enjoyed the weather, the hospitality, the fun and games of the get-a-way we stayed at... it was awesome.
Before we had even got checked into our flight to go down from Indiana, the travel company that we went through had an agent coming around to get emails and contact information for future promotions. So, about a week or so after this particular trip, I started to get the emails to travel with this specific agency for these AH-MA-ZING prices. So fast forward to this weekend and here I am on a plane southbound and down to Biloxi from Fort Wayne International Airport. Solo.
This trip is a touch different though, despite the fact that I had booked it for leisure only, I decided to turn it into a 'business' trip. I wanted to try my hand at 'peddling' Jackie's amazing products! So I loaded up my free checked bag (that I actually borrowed from Jackie, because I only have a small carry-on size bag myself) and loaded it up with almost all of Jackie's handmade jewelry and some of her hottest and latest apparel items. I was a little nervous that it wasn't going to turn out to be free though, I forgot to check what the weight limit was, and I had no clue how much this bag weighed, I just knew it was heavy... I huffed it to the check-in counter and got it on the scale. Surely with all these folks sporting golf clubs down there, this can't be too big of a deal, but just in case...
"I have no problem paying extra if this is over the limit." I say to the nice lady at the counter.
"I'll just tag it as heavy, looks like it's 57 lbs." she said back with a smile. Phew, I'm thinking the limit must have been 60lbs. At least I didn't have to pay extra.
I go on to the gate where my flight is set to depart and had a short wait, which I must've looked like a loon as I sat with my headphones on laughing audibly at some funny TikTok videos that some friends were sharing. But I didn't care. My trip was underway.
My ticket said I was row 30 - seat C. That's the second-to-last row on the plane, and it was an aisle seat. (I don't mind aisle seats, but windows are better.) The plane is getting more and more full by the second as these flights are normally jam packed and then the couple that sit in the A and B seats to my row arrive. The male half of this lovely couple looks in disgust at me in my police face-mask and audibly says "Are you F***ing kidding me?!" I rolled my eyes to myself while looking down and getting up to let him and his accompanying girl into their respective seats. And then I heard it.. why he was probably not pro-police, he was complaining that there would be no alcohol served on this flight, and he continued to grumble that they should at least let people smoke pot on the plane... That explains that, I thought to myself.
The plane was fully boarded now and everyone had their carry-ons set in the overhead compartments when this saint of a flight attendant tapped my shoulder and offered me the entire back row of seats catty-corner to me, apparently the flight was minus three. SCORE! I am excited to have a whole row to myself, with a window seat, away from the HighTimes poster children.
(high five if you get the movie reference that "upgraydde" is from)
The flight took off, it wasn't too long just over two hours and I landed at the Biloxi/Gulfport Airport to a warm 54 degrees. It felt wonderful compared to the barely 30 degrees I had left in Indiana.
I could smell the salt in the air as I went out to board the shuttle bus that brought us to the hotel.
The Beau Rivage
is where I stayed. It's gorgeous. If you've never been there, I cannot recommend it enough! The beauty, cleanliness, customer service - it was all tops!
I checked in and took my carry-on bag and laptop bag to my room on the 23rd floor. I wasn't sure if I was going to have a street side, or ocean view. Last time I came, we had been upgraded to an ocean view room and it was gorgeous! I arrived and opened my room and it was another SCORE - the ocean view.
So far, this trip is going awesome!
Why not try my hand at a little casino action, I thought. Luck seems to be on my side so far, plus I had $50.00 worth of Freeplay on my guest card just for coming down. But I wasn't so lucky. Everything I had budgeted for the night was gone in the matter of about 15 minutes. That's the way it goes some times. So I walked around a bit, checking to see if there were any potential customers I could later on possibly fanegle into checking out some of the product I had brought. I can't technically sell anything from my room, or even in the hotel for that matter, because of vendor laws, soliciting, and panhandling regulations and such... But that wouldn't stop me from passing out some business cards here and there to possibly at least get some looks for our IG, FB, or website.
The crowd didn't fit the bill really. Sure it was Friday night, but the crowd I'm sure I could catch some interest with was definitely going to be making passes through on Saturday night. So I waited a little close to an hour so that my heavy checked back would be brought to my room, and I promptly went to bed upon it's arrival.
Saturday, I woke early and took a walk outside. It smelled wonderful again, something about the gulf air... made me feel like summer was still around. I took some pictures of some nice scenery outside
and decided to grab some lunch at one of the restaurants inside the hotel. (There are plenty to choose from, I stuck with a favorite - The Terrace Cafe) -Excellent food by the way. (I got the loaded baked potato soup.)
From lunch, I went back outside to walk around, but it was a little overcast with one heck of a wind blowing. I had a park in mind that I wanted to wheel Jackie's product to and 'set up shop' so to speak, but the wind... it was just too much, and there were not very many people just walking out and about for some reason.
I killed some more time taking in some sights
and walking around plenty inside and outside the hotel until evening finally arrived. This was the crowd I was looking for. Women coming in in troves, some alone, some with husbands, or friends, but the girls with the pretty fashions were just who I was looking for. I was friendly and polite and handed business cards out to a few, but tried not to pester. Still no bites. The night failed me, as far as any potential customers.
Sunday morning I awoke early again. It was raining and very windy again, but the forecast called for plenty of warmth and sunshine by 10am, so I took to the streets as soon as I was dressed and packed up the heavy suitcase with all the goods. I started on foot to the north and found a few pretty churches, so I stopped at one to attend the service. It was a gorgeous Catholic Cathedral in a historic district in town.
I thought about asking a few women after the Mass had ended and the church dispersed, if they would be interested in taking a look at any of the items I had brought along with me, but I just couldn't bother these nice church-folk immediately after service. I just offered a friendly smile and extended for handshakes that were left hanging, as no one is comfortable really with this damn pandemic still in play. They kind of snubbed me, but I understood why to some degree. I pressed on walking, continuing north in search of some more parks or shopping areas that I could attempt to peddle a little... but wouldn't you know it (and I think this is how it should remain) everything down there - as far as businesses went - were closed on Sunday.
Diners, shops, everything was like a ghost-town on Sunday, and that is okay, but it was just so BEAUTIFUL out on this day. It was the best day weather-wise that I had down there so far, it ended up being 75 degrees, sunny, and just a nice breeze; but I was still hoofing it on foot trying to get somewhere to get some sale action on. I was on a stretch of road that went quite a ways before there was any potential to find some shops or an open space to set up, but I was still chugging along, when I stopped at an intersection and a white car was waiting, not going even though it was quiet enough on the street for them to continue on their way, so I smiled and the tinted window rolled down... I continued my smile even though I already knew where this was going. A man - a very small man, in designer sunglasses and weird objects hanging from his rearview mirror, smiled at me, told me how beautiful I was, and asked me if I needed money. "Don't we all?" I replied.
He laughed, "How much, $40.00?" he continued. This is where I audibly laughed and just said "NOPE!" ...he wanted me to hop in the car and go somewhere with him, and I am not selling THAT!
I continued smiling with slight annoyance in my grin and let him go on his way before I continued my walk.
Seriously? I thought to myself. I gave myself another once-over in a shop window on my walk down the street. I'm not provocatively dressed or anything. Hell, I was in a nice sweater and jeans and boots. Sure, I'm dragging behind me an almost 60 lb wheeled luggage with cute children's clothes on hangers attached to it, but I didn't think I was putting off any weird or desperate vibes, and certainly didn't think I looked approachable in that manner. I pressed on, with no luck, I had walked over three miles with heavy bag in tow, and then on my way back toward my hotel, at another intersection, a small white truck pulled over and two men and a little boy got out, they asked if I was interested in a sandwich and a drink. "No thanks, I don't need to buy anything today." I smiled, but the little boy spoke up, "No, it's not for sale, we're wanting to give it to you."
Okay, I must clearly look like a homeless person that got all dolled up for Sunday or something, because this is just weird now. "Oh, God bless you, but I don't need anything." I smiled and thanked them and saw them on their way.
I need to do something else, I thought.
I went back to my hotel after stopping at the gas station across the street to get something cold to drink and a pack of gum.
Once back in my room, I changed into some capri jeans, pretty flip-flops, and a t-shirt, it was getting pretty hot out for me. The luggage was heavy, and no one was biting. So I took my carry-on bag from my flight, emptied my personal effects, and loaded it up with a smaller amount of product to try and peddle elsewhere. I got as far as the beach and boardwalk a block away from my hotel, and it was gorgeous out, so I stuck my toes in the sand and just sat to reflect.
A few families passed by and said hello, but no one seemed interested in the slightest. After about an hour I returned to my hotel a little defeated in the sales respect and just handed out a few more cards to some nice fashionable ladies in the elevators, and I retired in my room.
No dice.
Nada.
Not one stinking iotta of a potential sale interest.
I had planned this one way too haphazardly, so... I'll return home with no sales.
I made one more pass through the casino and earned back all the money I had lost the first two nights and then a little more. I was happy with my wallet situation, if nothing as far as sales went.
My flight home was an hour late getting back to FWA and I waited what felt like an additional hour to get my luggage back, before retiring at my sister's where I had left my vehicle for the weekend.
I woke up just before 0430 this morning, and headed from Fort Wayne back to Goshen, with no sales under my belt, but at least I had plenty of pictures to show Jackie, and a funny story of how I was approached for $40.00 and offered food as if I was a needy street-hound...
And that was the first (but most definitely not the last) of Tara's Travels.
Until next time, goodbye Biloxi!
After JR and I married, we wanted to incorporate some of his designs into our boutique. As I watched him create it was unbelievable. There could be no picture or mere words on a page that could contain his artistic soul. From the point where he hand picks the wood to the spot where the designs are birthed, to the exactness of his building, each step that brings forth a one-of-a-kind piece.
As the planning stages started for adding the pieces to the boutique, we landed on some charcuterie boards. One day he called me out to his shop... indeed... he had delivered some unbelievable charcuterie boards. The shapes were unique... finishes- top notch, the style was great, and the hand picked wood was breathtaking!
The wood whispered a song of its own splendor. Within days they found their way to the boutique. And just as I had suspected, the customers began to marvel at the quality of the wood and designs.- The BEAUTIFUL wood. There was Hickory, White Oak, Figured Cherry, and Wormy Maple.
Soon, one of the woods began to stand out amongst the customers. The Cherry and Walnut were truly majestic and everyone would admire how gorgeous they were. The Hickory had become the popular farmhouse style everyone wants, and then the Wormy Maple had its own look... a different look... but everyone seemed drawn to it.
JR explained that the Wormy Maple actually started off as a defected wood. It was a wood that a worm had infested at one time, leaving small holes... around the holes extended unique color through the wood. So the Wormy Maple -the wood that everyone was choosing- was actually once a defected wood. Now, however, even though its defective marks were still visible... it had been chosen as a favored wood.
As I sit here looking at the defected wood, it makes me smile. Sometimes the things we are so quick to discard are actually rare finds of beauty - defects and all! (Including people!)
We are all on different paths, different stories, we grow at different rates and sometimes the Good Lord allows us to acquire a few defects along the way... But... just remember... The Wormy Maple is beautiful in spite of its defects!
Are there any "defects" in your life that you've overcome, or realized their beauty in retrospect? Tell us your thoughts below!
]]>When I had seen this picture, I knew this belonged in my kitchen.
I dug through my scrap wood... when I came across this piece, I knew it was perfect! I didn't want it painted or modernized. That old wood spoke its own story. I wanted the silverware to say it all. I pondered how to get it on the board with no marks. After a little bit of research, I decided on a strong glue. I love it for what it represents to me.
So when those holiday and special occasions roll around, I guess I love my silverware. I love to see unique finds and I love a pretty set table...ALL DAY LONG!
Sure, my kids may sell it all at a garage sale some day and that is fine because I know in my heart that somewhere a little treasure shop will have a little drawer with some silverware and a little lady will come shopping
and she will remember from her heart... some Sunday dinner company... and she will buy a long ago memory... and it will make her smile.
My kids... I've got what a friend calls "2, 4, 6, & 8." And I didn't plan on raising them without their father, but that's a whole other story. Let's just say he's not in our picture, he's got a new picture and I'll remain fair and say that he has "2, 4, 6, & 8" equal amounts of time as I do.
I'd consider myself to have lived through a lot for my age, but maybe I'm way off.
I was a 9-1-1 emergency dispatcher for 15 years. I was a police officer for 4 years and I was a wife for 12 years, and obviously gave birth to 4 kids all two years apart also during those 15 years.
I would consider a lot of my craziness to have popped up during that 15 year period of my life, but there's that batch of normal/fun/innocent crazy that I've had since I was just a little kid. I can remember when I first was signed up for sports and my dad was the coach of the softball team, yelling at me to stop goofing off... I was the kid that didn't sit still, was way too hyper, laughed at everything- even if it wasn't funny... sometimes I'd get a good hysterical laugh going just out of nerves, I never knew... but it sure was exciting.
BUT... you want to know what the craziest thing I have done so far in my life is though? It was trusting my gut, and the Good Lord with what I feel is where I need to be in life right now, next to this crazy free-spirited gypsy soul, who has been through a lot of the same (and probably a hell of a lot more) that I have been through.
Yeah, you could say we're both a little crazy, but we're each a little of our own crazy, and we are a good compliment for each other. I can help my dear ol' gypsy with some of this technical stuff (which admittedly now as I get older and it all gets newer - I need to step my game up) and she is going to help me with life! She gets it! She's been there, done that! She has graciously (in my own opinion) taken me under her wing and is letting me work with her. You know what?!? I FREAKING LOVE IT!
If you would have asked me a year ago if I could ever in a million years imagine myself where I am today, doing what I am doing to get by in life, I would have probably punched you in the throat and flipped you the bird, or helped you check into the local nut-house to get your crazy checked.... because I wouldn't have believed it, but here I am. Ready and willing, because I see that there is just too much coincidence for me not to stick around, there's too much of a Divine Hand in this pushing me along, to not stick with it. So, here I am, right next to Jackie, ready to take on the world and share the experience along the way.
Here's a peek at us "in the shop" with the Gypsy on her phone (of course) and Judy pitchin' us a vase...
...P.S. We forgot to mention that coming along on this adventure with us are occasional cameos from JR and also Tara's kiddos, Judy w/ Judy's Treasure Hunt, and last but certainly not least, Leonard & Max!